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  • Accomplishments
    You can fool all of the people all of the time if your effects budget is large enough.
  • Achievement
    You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.
  • Acquisition
    The discovery that you're no longer a big fish in a small pond, or even a small fish in a big pond, but a small fish in a big fish.
  • Adversity
    That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.
  • Burnout
    Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you.
  • Challenges
    I expected times like this - but I never thought they'd be so bad, so long, and so frequent.
  • Change
    Politicians are like diapers. They need to be changed often and for the same reason.
  • Cluelessness
    There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.
  • Conformity
    When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
  • Consistency
    It's only a virtue if you're not a screwup.
  • Consulting
    If you're not a part of the solution,there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.
  • Corruption
    I want either less corruption or more opportunity to participate in it.
  • Creativity
    Helps artists die young, miserable, and penniless- so their art can have meaning to the old, satisfied, and obscenely rich.
  • Curiosity
    Some Places Remain Unknown Because No One Has Ventured Forth. Others Remain So Because No One Has Ever Come Back.
  • Customer Care
    If we really care for the customer we'd send them somewhere better.
  • Dare to Slack
    When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness
  • Demotivation
    Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.
  • Despair
    It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.
  • Destiny
    You were meant for me. Perhaps as a punishment.
  • Discovery
    A company that will go to the ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.
  • Do it Later
    The early worm is for the birds.
  • Economics
    The science of explaining tomorrow why the predictions you made yesterday didn't come true today.
  • Effort
    Hard work never killed anybody, but it is illegal in some places.
  • Elitism
    It's lonely at the top, but it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.
  • Fear
    Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea.
  • Flattery
    If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom.
  • Futility
    You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and, statistically speaking, 99% of the shots you do.
  • Get to Work
    You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.
  • Goals
    It's best to avoid standing directly between a competitive jerk and his goals.
  • Government
    If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions.
  • Hazards
    There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you're pretty much doomed.
  • Hope
    May not be warranted at this point.
  • Idiocy
    Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
  • Ignorance
    It's amazing how much easier it is for a team to work together when no one has any idea where they're going.
  • Indifference
    It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.
  • Individuality
    Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.
  • Innovation
    If it can make your job easier, it can probably make it irrelevant.
  • Insanity
    It's difficult to comprehend how insane some people can be. Especially when you're insane.
  • Insight
    When the going gets tough, the tough get going. The smart left a long time ago.
  • Inspiration
    Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99% perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad.
  • Intimidation
    No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but you'd be a fool to withhold that from your superiors.
  • Irresponsibility
    No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood.
  • Leaders
    Leaders are like eagles. We don't have either of them here.
  • Liberty
    The price of freedom keeps going up, but the quality keeps deteriorating.
  • Limitations
    Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.
  • Madness
    Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?"
  • Marketing
    Because making it look good now is more important than providing adequate support later.
  • Meetings
    None of us is as dumb as all of us.
  • Mistakes
    It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
  • Motivation
    If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.
  • Overconfidence
    Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you.
  • Perseverance
    The courage to ignore the obvious wisdom of turning back.
  • Persistence
    It's over, man. Let her go.
  • Perspective
    Less is more. Unless you're standing next to the one with more. Then less just looks pathetic.
  • Pessimism
    Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it.
  • Planning
    Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress.
  • Possibilities
    With focus, dedication and steroids, men can achieve impossible dreams. Like breaking a world record. Or growing their own breasts.
  • Potential
    Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.
  • Power
    Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But it rocks absolutely, too.
  • Pressure
    It can turn a lump of coal into a flawless diamond, or an average person into a perfect basketcase.
  • Pretension
    The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious.
  • Priorities
    Hundreds of years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove... But the world may be different because I did something so bafflingly crazy that my ruins become a tourist attraction.
  • Problems
    No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you've probably only seen the tip of them.
  • Procrastination
    Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.
  • Propaganda
    What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies right to our faces.
  • Recovery
    Time heals all wounds. But it usually leaves a pretty big scar.
  • Retirement
    Because you've given so much of yourself to the company that you don't have anything left we can use.
  • Risks
    If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments.
  • Romance
    Love is in the air. And it's pooping on my head.
  • Sacrifice
    Your role may be thankless, but if you're willing to give it your all, you just might bring success to those who outlast you.
  • Sacrifice Temple
    All we ask here is that you give us your heart.
  • Sanity
    Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can borrow mine.
  • The Secret of Success
    What is The Secret? Pretend you've already achieved it-- Then offer to sell The Secret to others.
  • Service
    View all customers as beautiful buds that must be cultivated, watered, and periodically buried under manure.
  • Self-Esteem
    Just because you think you're a star doesn't mean you're going anywhere.
  • Strife
    As long as we have each other, we'll never run out of problems.
  • Success
    Some people dream of success, while other people live to crush those dreams.
  • Survival
    The less you stand out, the longer you'll last.
  • Synergy
    A code word lazy people use when they want you to do all the work.
  • Tradition
    Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.
  • Victory
    Winners never fly higher than when they're bouncing up and down on the egos of those they defeat.
  • Vision
    How can the future be so hard to predict when all of my worst fears keep coming true?
  • Wealth
    All I ask is for a chance to prove that money can't buy happiness.
  • Whining
    If you expect to score points by whining, join a European soccer team.
  • Winners
    Because nothing says "you're a loser" more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.
  • Wishes
    When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
  • Worth
    Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important.