{"title":"Demotivators","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/files\/TallDemotivators.jpg?1632892955475928178\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv class=\"p30 clearfix\"\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv class=\"span6 inner-left\"\u003e\r\n\u003ch3\u003eMOTIVATIONAL PRODUCTS DON'T WORK. BUT OUR DEMOTIVATOR® PRODUCTS DON'T WORK EVEN BETTER.\u003c\/h3\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv class=\"span6 inner-left\"\u003eWhen we started Despair, we had a dream. To crush other people's dreams. But we knew, given our goal, we'd be in for a fight. After all, the Motivation Industry has been crushing dreams for decades, selling the easy lie of success you can buy. That's why we decided to differentiate ourselves- by crushing dreams with hard truths!\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003c\/div\u003e\r\n\u003cdiv class=\"span12 inner-left border-bottom p30\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"compromise","title":"Compromise","description":"\u003cp\u003eLet's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":722013979,"sku":"PU-082","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/files\/compromise_b9c3c886-f6e6-4c95-89bb-11da05ae5a99.jpg?v=1726628454"},{"product_id":"intimidation","title":"Intimidation","description":"\u003cp\u003eNo one can make you feel inferior without your consent. But you'd be a fool to withhold that from your superiors.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"Default","offer_id":722017695,"sku":"84","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/files\/intimidation_8389f3c8-c23e-4707-b61e-b5d1cb657372.jpg?v=1726628335"},{"product_id":"irresponsibility","title":"Irresponsibility","description":"\u003cp\u003eNo single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":722017727,"sku":"PU-043","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/irresponsibilitydemotivator.jpeg?v=1403276041"},{"product_id":"mediocrity","title":"Mediocrity","description":"\u003cp\u003eIt takes a lot less time and most people won't notice the difference until it's too late.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":722018135,"sku":"PU-007","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/mediocritylitho.png?v=1534055488"},{"product_id":"quality","title":"Quality","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe race for quality has no finish line, so technically, it's more like a death march.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":722018839,"sku":"PU-087","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz Coffee Mug","offer_id":44259933323482,"sku":"MG-087","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/files\/qualityfix.jpg?v=1733424284"},{"product_id":"stupidity","title":"Stupidity","description":"\u003cp\u003eQuitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"Default","offer_id":722019255,"sku":"141","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/files\/stupidity.jpg?v=1694492320"},{"product_id":"achievement","title":"Achievement","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe’ll never again build anything as impressive and majestic as the pyramids of Egypt. Thanks a lot, U.S. Department of Labor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2012\/01\/26\/business\/ieconomy-apples-i%E2%80%A6n-costs-for-workers-in-china.html?ref=foxconntechnology\u0026amp;_r=0\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003eChina\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/www.travelchinaguide.com\/china_great_wall\/construction\/labor_force.htm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003eChina\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnd, of course, \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/www.anniebees.com\/China\/China_42.htm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003e China \u003c\/a\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e心懷不滿的大學生\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457295683,"sku":"PU-063","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Coffee Mug","offer_id":1326009603,"sku":"DMG-063","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/achievementdemotivator.jpeg?v=1416776101"},{"product_id":"ambition","title":"Ambition","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eKeep your eyes on the prize. Just like a mouse, fixated on that tasty bit of cheese waiting in the trap.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSalmon with delusions of grandeur\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHungry bears looking for something to go with that delicious beurre blanc\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNon-vegetarians living in the Pacific Northwest (both of them)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457295747,"sku":"PU-064","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coffee Mug","offer_id":1326009795,"sku":"DMG-064","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/ambitiondemotivator.jpeg?v=1416776120"},{"product_id":"aspiration","title":"Aspiration","description":"\u003cp\u003eI hear the call to do nothing and am doing my best to answer it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"They also serve who only stand and wait. Or lie down and wait. Or just sit in their office chair, staring blankly at the wall.\" - John Milton (paraphrased)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePretty much any government employee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eExtreme nappers, aggro sitters, adventure slumberers, and adherents of the P90Nap workout\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457295811,"sku":"PU-170","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"15oz Coffee Mug","offer_id":18635539578947,"sku":"MG-170","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/aspirationdemotivator.jpeg?v=1554326639"},{"product_id":"believe-in-yourself","title":"Believe in Yourself","description":"\u003cp\u003eBecause the rest of us think you're an idiot.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDon’t listen to all the bad things people are saying about you. And they are saying bad things about you. They’re pretty funny, too! Especially the one about how nobody will ever be desperate enough to love you. Anyway, don’t listen to them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMeryl Streep in \u003cem\u003eThe River Wild\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eJohn C. Reilly in \u003cem\u003eThe River Wild\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eKevin Bacon in, weirdly enough, \u003cem\u003eShe's Having a Baby\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students with unjustifiably high self-esteem\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457295875,"sku":"PU-152","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":2457295939,"sku":"PR-152","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/believeinyourselfdemotivator.jpeg?v=1414003976"},{"product_id":"challenges","title":"Challenges","description":"\u003cp\u003eI expected times like this - but never thought they'd be so bad, so long, and so frequent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLife can be difficult. But if you work hard, keep a positive attitude, and meet your challenges head on, you’ll find that it can also be extremely painful.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSisyphus\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=a2WYg2b-IPM\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eJoe Simpson\u003c\/a\u003e (no, not \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=157nAcA6Woc\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ethat one\u003c\/a\u003e, you shallow, pop culture-addicted cretin)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=EoCPuhhE6dw\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eRodgers and Hammerstein enthusiasts\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457296067,"sku":"PU-091","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz Coffee Mug","offer_id":19241417572419,"sku":"MG-091","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/challengesdemotivator.jpeg?v=1414003998"},{"product_id":"consistency","title":"Consistency","description":"\u003cp\u003eIt's only a virtue if you're not a screwup.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere is something to be said in doing things wrong the exact same way every time. It’s not a good thing, but still. Take your compliments where you can get them, loser.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBaldrick\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTiny archers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDane Cook\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe Buffalo Bills\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457296259,"sku":"PU-088","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/consistencydemotivator.jpeg?v=1414004030"},{"product_id":"consulting","title":"Consulting","description":"\u003cp\u003eIf you're not a part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere’s nothing wrong with paying people to listen to your problems and give you obvious advice. That’s what bartenders are for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe nine people in America who understand what it is consultants actually do\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAdvice columnists\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457296323,"sku":"PU-038","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Coffee Mug","offer_id":1326010435,"sku":"DMG-038","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":2457296387,"sku":"PR-038","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"15oz Coffee Mug","offer_id":12108114919550,"sku":"MG-038","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/consultingdemotivator.jpeg?v=1554328220"},{"product_id":"distinction","title":"Distinction","description":"\u003cp\u003eLooking sharp is easy when you haven't done any work.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlessed are the lazy, for they shall be free of stress lines.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMalingerers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGoldbrickers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOther entertaining early 20th-century synonyms for slackers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students who need to remember to bring their Scantron and No. 2 pencils to the test tomorrow\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457296643,"sku":"PU-158","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Coffee Mug","offer_id":1326010627,"sku":"DMG-162","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":2457296707,"sku":"PR-158","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"15oz Coffee Mug","offer_id":43489851998426,"sku":"MG-158","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/distinctiondemotivator.jpeg?v=1414004084"},{"product_id":"foresight","title":"Foresight","description":"\u003cp\u003eThose who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those busy proving them right.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou can do anything you put your mind to. Of course, that only works if you have a mind.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eStarry-eyed dreamers in full body casts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThose who refuse to let the laws of physics tell them how to have a good time\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThat cynic in the QA department\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457296835,"sku":"PU-171","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":2457296899,"sku":"PR-171","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/foresightdemotivator.jpeg?v=1414004109"},{"product_id":"get-to-work","title":"Get To Work","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnless your dreams involve making inane small talk with your coworkers, filing reports that will never be read, and sitting through interminable, pointless meanings. Then, I guess, you are being paid for that. Just not well.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncreasing productivity while decreasing morale\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/www.lettersofnote.com\/2010\/08\/tiger-oil-memos.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003eEdward \"Tiger Mike\" Davis\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eScullers irritated by all the stoned canoers-in-need-of-jobby-jobs on Austin's Lady Bird Lake\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college coxswains\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457296963,"sku":"PU-052","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":2457297027,"sku":"PR-052","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"15oz Coffee Mug","offer_id":19552206094403,"sku":"MG-052","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/gettoworkdemotivator.jpeg?v=1559799873"},{"product_id":"give-up","title":"Give Up","description":"\u003cp\u003eAt some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"3-Card Pack","offer_id":957770155,"sku":"NX-092","price":5.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":52609248021,"sku":"PU-092","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/giveupREPLACEMENT.jpg?v=1506028831"},{"product_id":"government","title":"Government","description":"\u003cp\u003eIf you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey may seem inefficient and feckless at times, but your representatives in Washington just want what’s best for you. Assuming you’re a major corporation. Otherwise, you’re pretty much screwed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=IrtLjWb0Fmo\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003eKent Brockman\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=DU-RuR-qO4Y\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003eLeonard Cohen\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/www.realclearpolitics.com\/epolls\/other\/congressional_job_approval-903.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003eYou, probably\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected political science majors\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457297091,"sku":"PU-099","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":2457297155,"sku":"PR-099","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Coffee Mug","offer_id":1332115779,"sku":"DMG-099","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"15oz Coffee Mug","offer_id":12108109873278,"sku":"MG-099","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/governmentdemotivator.jpeg?v=1554328256"},{"product_id":"hope","title":"Hope","description":"\u003cp\u003eMay not be warranted at this point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAwww, look at all the pretty little birdies! Who’s a cute little birdy? Is it you? Is it...hey, what are you doing? No! NO! NOOOOOOOO!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCorporate raiders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOverly optimistic ornithologists\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoon-to-be carrion\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"Coffee Mug","offer_id":957770267,"sku":"DMG-093","price":18.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"15oz Coffee Mug","offer_id":12108080808062,"sku":"MG-093","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/hopedemotivator.jpeg?v=1554328515"},{"product_id":"idiocy","title":"Idiocy","description":"\u003cp\u003eNever underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWell, if all your friends jumped out of an airplane flying 30,000 feet above the ground with nothing but a piece of nylon strapped to their back, would you -- oh, you would? I...I see.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFlash mobs\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe American electorate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe Kardashians and their viewership\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students currently attending their safety schools\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457297347,"sku":"PU-019","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/idiocydemotivator.jpeg?v=1430423036"},{"product_id":"knowledge","title":"Knowledge","description":"\u003cp\u003eI believe that children are our future. And that terrifies me.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe selfie-taking little narcissists of today are the air traffic controllers and doctors of tomorrow. Good luck with all that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHanging in a well-concealed area of your teachers' lounge\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eStudents who see nothing wrong with the pictured equation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college instructors\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457297539,"sku":"PU-172","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":2457297603,"sku":"PR-172","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/knowledgedemotivator.jpeg?v=1414011355"},{"product_id":"legacy","title":"Legacy","description":"\u003cp\u003eIt took millions of years to create something this extraordinary. You have about seventy-four.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow will people remember you when you’re gone? Probably as that whiny loser who complained about his job all the time and wasted entire days of his life looking at motivational poster parody websites.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/www.poetryfoundation.org\/poem\/175903\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003eOzymandias\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eConnor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=t1TcDHrkQYg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003eAlphaville\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457298947,"sku":"PU-119","price":16.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/legacydemotivator.jpeg?v=1414011551"},{"product_id":"limitations","title":"Limitations","description":"\u003cp\u003eUntil you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere’s no shame in being a flightless bird. The red rail, the Chatham duck, the great auk: all beautiful. And all extinct.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGood-natured Linux users\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNuns\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBurgess Meredith\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457299715,"sku":"PU-057","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/limitationsdemotivator.jpeg?v=1430420134"},{"product_id":"meetings","title":"Meetings","description":"\u003cp\u003eNone of us is as dumb as all of us.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey might be the most frustrating exercises in pointlessness ever to have been invented, but at least they’re better than actually working.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGroupthinkers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHand models\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMembers of the United States Cabinet\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457301507,"sku":"PU-058","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"15oz Coffee Mug","offer_id":4375841505301,"sku":"MG-058","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Coffee Mug","offer_id":1326011779,"sku":"DMG-058","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":2457301635,"sku":"PR-058","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/meetingsdemotivator.jpeg?v=1554328548"},{"product_id":"mistakes","title":"Mistakes","description":"\u003cp\u003eIt could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot every life can be a success, just like not every vessel can be seaworthy. But there’s no shame in being one spectacular shipwreck. (Actually, there is. But we’re not going to kick you while you’re down, Edmund Fitzgerald.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cem\u003eTitanic\u003c\/em\u003e enthusiasts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003ci\u003eTitanic\u003c\/i\u003e film enthusiasts who were \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/www.buzzfeed.com\/networkdeskpeon\/15-people-who-didnt-know-the-titanic-actually-53wv\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003eunaware that the \u003ci\u003eTitanic\u003c\/i\u003e was a real thing\u003c\/a\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClive Cussler groupies\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457302467,"sku":"PU-008","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz Coffee Mug","offer_id":4376100306965,"sku":"MG-008","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Coffee Mug","offer_id":1326011971,"sku":"DMG-008","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":2457302595,"sku":"PR-008","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/mistakesdemotivator.jpeg?v=1554328460"},{"product_id":"motivation","title":"Motivation","description":"\u003cp\u003eIf a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eKeep your eyes on the prize. Just like a mouse, fixated on that tasty bit of cheese waiting in the trap.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe ever-dwindling manufacturing sector\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe headquarters of your local labor union\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTony Robbins\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457303555,"sku":"PU-059","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":2457303683,"sku":"PR-059","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/motivationdemotivator.jpeg?v=1414011398"},{"product_id":"multitasking","title":"Multitasking","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.\" - Ron Swanson, \"Parks and Recreation\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOverextended employees and the bosses who don't care about them\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThose who have the confidence to screw up two things at once\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSpork enthusiasts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457304387,"sku":"PU-169","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":2457304451,"sku":"PR-169","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"15oz Coffee Mug","offer_id":30949246533696,"sku":"MG-169","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/multitaskingdemotivator.jpeg?v=1414011384"},{"product_id":"perseverance","title":"Perseverance","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe courage to ignore the obvious wisdom of turning back.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou get knocked down. But you get up again. Ain’t never going to keep you down. Because you’re a glutton for punishment. And kind of an idiot.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eJason \"Preacher\" Rowe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRobert \"Rabbit\" Nurick\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTim \"Beltzer\" Lewis\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRobert \"Ice\" Van Winkle\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected \"college\" students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457304643,"sku":"PU-109","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Coffee Mug","offer_id":1326012227,"sku":"DMG-109","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":2457304707,"sku":"PR-109","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/perseverancedemotivator.jpeg?v=1416776286"},{"product_id":"potential","title":"Potential","description":"\u003cp\u003eNot everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAs a bright-eyed kid, you once harbored dreams of a future in space. But face it, the only moon you’ll ever step foot on will belong to passed-out, drunken, former bright-eyed aspiring astronaut losers who are, unfortunately for you, your peers. Nice going, Buzz!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who ever paid to go to SpaceCamp\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEspecially if they ended up working \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/spacecenter.org\/attractions\/nasa-tram-tour\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBill Nye, Dr. Brian May, and \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=lul-Y8vSr0I\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003ethis guy\u003c\/a\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour college-age children, who will soon be:\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457305027,"sku":"PU-066","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Coffee Mug","offer_id":1326012355,"sku":"DMG-066","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/potentialdemotivator.jpeg?v=1414017238"},{"product_id":"priorities","title":"Priorities","description":"\u003cp\u003eHundreds of years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove... But the world may be different because I did something so bafflingly crazy that my ruins become a tourist attraction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMoai money, moai problems.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAncestor worshipers who like a good laugh every now and again\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/news.bbc.co.uk\/2\/hi\/americas\/7337927.stm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003eFinnish tourists who make poor decisions\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRapa Nui speakers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457305091,"sku":"PU-098","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":2457305155,"sku":"PR-098","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/prioritiesdemotivator.jpeg?v=1414017212"},{"product_id":"procrastination","title":"Procrastination","description":"\u003cp\u003eHard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNever put off until tomorrow what you can … you know what? We’ll finish this later. There’s a Here Comes Honey Boo Boo marathon on.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e[Joke coming soon]\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e[Joke coming soon]\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e[Joke coming soon]\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457305219,"sku":"PU-010","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Coffee Mug","offer_id":1326012547,"sku":"DMG-010","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/procrastinationdemotivator.jpeg?v=1416776298"},{"product_id":"retirement","title":"Retirement","description":"\u003cp\u003eBecause you've given so much of yourself to the company that you don't have anything left we can use.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRetirement is like rotary telephones and mimeograph machines: if you’re under 30, don’t worry about it. It’s never going to come up for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGold watch manufacturers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe state of Florida\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\"Sexy Grandpa\" t-shirt wearers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students who realize they will never be able to retire\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457305347,"sku":"PU-065","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz Coffee Mug","offer_id":4375939121173,"sku":"MG-065","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/retirement_d88c6e42-1853-4ce9-9bbb-b241cccb7871.jpg?v=1664304799"},{"product_id":"sacrifice-temple","title":"Sacrifice","description":"\u003cp\u003eAll we ask here is that you give us your heart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShow up every day, work hard, and don’t complain, and in fifty years you’ll get a nice gold watch. Which will be slipped on your cold, dead wrist.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMixtli-Dark Cloud\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTlaloc\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eKali ma...Kali ma...Kali ma, shakthi deh!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457305411,"sku":"PU-080","price":16.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/sacrificetempledemotivator.jpeg?v=1414016923"},{"product_id":"sanity","title":"Sanity","description":"\u003cp\u003eMinds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can borrow mine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHere’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who run naked through your neighborhood at night, screaming “Kenneth, what is the frequency? The Department of Commerce planted microchips in my brain!”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eD. B. Cooper\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAll of you still holding on to your parachute pants, just waiting for the comeback\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457305475,"sku":"PU-100","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/sanitydemotivator.jpeg?v=1414017164"},{"product_id":"shoot-for-the-moon","title":"Shoot for the Moon","description":"\u003cp\u003eEven if you miss, you'll land among the stars. Of course, then your eyeballs will boil and your lungs explode from decompression. But that's what you get for being a damn showoff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCurb your enthusiasm, people. It's seriously annoying.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=7JDaOOw0MEE\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003eGeorges Mèliés\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Hugo_Drax\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003eSir Hugo Drax\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Great_Moon_Hoax\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003eSir John Herschel\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457305539,"sku":"PU-166","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Coffee Mug","offer_id":1326012931,"sku":"DMG-166","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":2457305603,"sku":"PR-166","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/shootforthemoondemotivator.jpeg?v=1414017153"},{"product_id":"teamwork","title":"Teamwork","description":"\u003cp\u003eA few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":32445459654,"sku":"PR-072","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":646180601877,"sku":"PU-072","price":16.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/teamworkNEW.png?v=1632889742"},{"product_id":"tradition","title":"Tradition","description":"\u003cp\u003eJust because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome customs have been handed down generation by generation, all the way back to our forefathers. But remember: our forefathers were actually pretty stupid. They wore those dumb powdered wigs and everything.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnimal rights activists who cannot believe how far we have not come\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eErnest Hemingway (“I hung the poster on the wall. It was funny, and colorful. Jim came with a cup of coffee. The coffee was hot, and good. We looked at the poster and laughed.”)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457305795,"sku":"PU-094","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz Coffee Mug","offer_id":4375889313813,"sku":"MG-094","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Coffee Mug","offer_id":1332056323,"sku":"DMG-094","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":2457305859,"sku":"PR-094","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/traditiondemotivator.jpeg?v=1554328363"},{"product_id":"underachievement-penguin","title":"Underachievement","description":"\u003cp\u003eBecause soaring with the eagles requires so much more effort.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere are people out there who do their best, work hard, and push their boundaries, not for praise or recognition, but for pride. We call those people “chumps.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eChilly Willy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMario Lemieux\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTuxedo designers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"Coffee Mug","offer_id":1326013059,"sku":"DMG-145","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/underachievementpenguindemotivator.jpeg?v=1414017096"},{"product_id":"wishes","title":"Wishes","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhen you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteor hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteorite.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOnly one person can save us now, and his name is President Tom Beck. Unfortunately, he’s a fictional character, played by Morgan Freeman in the film \u003cem\u003eDeep Impact\u003c\/em\u003e. So I guess what we’re saying is you better start working on that bomb shelter now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.rollingstone.com\/culture\/culture-features\/elon-musk-the-architect-of-tomorrow-120850\/\" title=\"Elon Musk's office poster at Space X\"\u003eElon Musk\u003c\/a\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePeople who still have nightmares from watching \u003cem\u003eDeep Impact\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDespair fans who like our other Demotivators®, but wish they took twenty minutes to read\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457306115,"sku":"PU-079","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":2457306179,"sku":"PR-079","price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/wishesraster.jpg?v=1602193201"},{"product_id":"worth","title":"Worth","description":"\u003cp\u003eJust because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou might think you’re just a gear in the machine, but that’s not true. Gears are delicate, important, and expensive to replace.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachinists with quirky senses of humor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWorkers who have nothing to lose but their chains, their salaries, their health insurance, their ability to support their families, their self-worth, and their reason to go on living\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457306243,"sku":"PU-081","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"15oz Coffee Mug","offer_id":46028876087514,"sku":"MG-081","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/files\/worth_0191f45e-3a81-4683-862c-c3f0b0c599e1.jpg?v=1732399903"},{"product_id":"winners","title":"Winners","description":"\u003cp\u003eBecause nothing says \"you're a loser\" more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRemember the quarterback who led your high school football team to the state championship? He just got laid off from his job selling insurance in Akron. But he’ll always have 1991. And a failed marriage. And a knee injury that won’t go away.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePERFECT FOR: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCharlie Sheen (duh)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEnd zone dance choreographers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRabbit Angstrom\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003ca href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/File:Deweytruman12.jpg\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eGov. Thomas E. Dewey\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisaffected college students\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2457306051,"sku":"PU-106","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/winnersdemotivator.jpeg?v=1414779934"},{"product_id":"micromanagement","title":"Micromanagement","description":"\u003cp\u003eA job worth doing is worth doing right over your shoulder by your boss.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":31261276038,"sku":"PR-182","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/Micromanagement.jpg?v=1476132671"},{"product_id":"mediocrity-penguins","title":"Mediocrity-Penguins","description":"\u003cp\u003eJust because we accept you as you are doesn't mean we've abandoned hope you'll improve.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":31261332806,"sku":"PR-181","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":2798359216149,"sku":"PU-181","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/MediocrityPenguins.jpg?v=1476132815"},{"product_id":"interns","title":"Interns","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe experience we're giving you is invaluable.  That's why we're not paying you anything.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":31261496710,"sku":"PR-180","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/Interns.jpg?v=1476133429"},{"product_id":"downsizing","title":"Downsizing","description":"\u003cp\u003eBecause we're all in this together but there's always room for one less.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":31261535302,"sku":"PR-179","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/Downsizing.jpg?v=1476133559"},{"product_id":"dare-to-be-different","title":"Dare to Be Different","description":"\u003cp\u003eBecause there's always room for another annoying non-conformist like you in the unemployment line.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":31261557190,"sku":"PR-177","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/DareToBeDifferent.jpg?v=1476133652"},{"product_id":"teams","title":"Teams","description":"\u003cp\u003eTogether, we can do the work of one.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":31621580422,"sku":"PR-185","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"24x30 Poster","offer_id":30949145837632,"sku":"PU-185","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/teams.jpg?v=1602625018"},{"product_id":"dare-to-soar","title":"Dare to Soar","description":"\u003cp\u003eWith enough hot air, even losers like you can fly.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":31621714054,"sku":"PR-178","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/DareToSoar.jpg?v=1477418164"},{"product_id":"progress","title":"Progress","description":"\u003cp\u003eJust made you irrelevant.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":31621774790,"sku":"PR-183","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/ProgressFix.jpg?v=1478140524"},{"product_id":"caution-iceberg","title":"Caution-Iceberg","description":"\u003cp\u003eDisaster awaits those who ignore hidden threats. We trust you'll find this sufficiently motivating.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Despair, Inc.","offers":[{"title":"18x24 Print","offer_id":31914653318,"sku":"PR-176","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/products\/CautionIceberg.jpg?v=1477942012"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0535\/6917\/collections\/potential.jpg?v=1415923944","url":"https:\/\/despair.com\/collections\/demotivators\/2027.oembed","provider":"Despair, Inc. ","version":"1.0","type":"link"}