Business As Usual

Get To Work

You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.

Distinction

Looking sharp is easy when you haven't done any work.

Meetings

None of us is as dumb as all of us.

Consulting

If you're not a part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.

Demotivation

Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.

Apathy

If we don't take care of the customer, maybe they'll stop bugging us.

Discovery

A company that will go to the ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.

Marketing

Because making it look good now is more important than providing adequate support later.

Economics

The science of explaining tomorrow why the predictions you made yesterday didn't come true today.

Flattery

If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom.

Nepotism

We promote family values here- almost as often as we promote family members.

Retirement

Because you've given so much of yourself to the company that you don't have anything left we can use.

Service

View all customers as beautiful buds that must be cultivated, watered, and periodically buried under manure.

Sacrifice

All we ask here is that you give us your heart.

Adaptation

The bad news is robots can do your job now. The good news is we're now hiring robot repair technicians. The worse news is we're working on robot-fixing robots- and we do not anticipate any further good news.

Collaboration

When a motivated group of people join together, they can turn problems into opportunities. Especially drinking problems.

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Business As Usual

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