Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.
As a bright-eyed kid, you once harbored dreams of a future in space. But face it, the only moon you’ll ever step foot on will belong to passed-out, drunken, former bright-eyed aspiring astronaut losers who are, unfortunately for you, your peers. Nice going, Buzz!
Disaster awaits those who ignore hidden threats. We trust you'll find this sufficiently motivating.