Some places remain unknown because no one has ventured forth. Others remain so because no one has ever come back.
If we really cared for the customer, we'd send them somewhere better.
Because we're not satisfied until you're not satisfied
Because there's always room for another annoying non-conformist like you in the unemployment line.
When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness.
With enough hot air, even losers like you can fly.
When the time comes for us to burn the candle at both ends, we’re grateful you’re here, being our candle.
For every winner there are dozens of losers. Odds are you're one of them.
Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.
It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.
You were meant for me. Perhaps as a punishment.
Even the most ambitious little pebble will never grow up to be a big rock.
You are the wind beneath my wings, otherwise known as turbulence.
Because there's nothing standing between you and your goal but a total lack of talent and complete failure of will.
A company that will go to the ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.
When it costs too much to keep you gruntled.
There comes a time when every team must learn to make individual sacrifices.
It takes months to find a customer, but only seconds to lose one... The good news is that we should run out of them in no time.
Looking sharp is easy when you haven't done any work.
Because every person deserves an equal chance to prove their incompetence.
The early worm is for the birds.
Because we're all in this together but there's always room for one less.
It's your only hope for success, really.
Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.
The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.
Because a Friend in Need is a Friend I Don't Need.
The science of explaining tomorrow why the predictions you made yesterday didn't come true today.
You can't put a price on a good education, but you can spend a small fortune to acquire skills that might help you earn a fraction of it back before technology obsolesces your knowledge set.
Hard work never killed anybody- but it is illegal in some places.
Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never fail.
It's lonely at the top, but it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.
Failure is just the opportunity to begin again more intelligently, and if you're surrounded by screwups, you'll become an expert in it.
If you keep asking others to give you the benefit of the doubt, they'll eventually start to doubt your benefit.
It's not just the ability to put a plan into action, it's our solution for those who lack that ability.
Refuse to accept anything but the very best and you are never going to last around here.
We’ve got a talent for explaining tomorrow why the predictions we made yesterday didn’t come true today.
When your best just isn't good enough.
It's Your Destiny.
By the Time Justice is Done, Injustice Has Usually Gotten Away with Everything it Wanted to.
Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea.
If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom.
Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those busy proving them right.
Inside every snowflake is a perfectly unique meltdown just waiting to happen.