Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.
There is no idea so ridiculous that you can't find a professor teaching future generations to believe it.
If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.
Because the easiest way to steal your wealth is by cheapening your money.
If it can make your job easier, it can probably make it irrelevant.
We regret to inform you that the flying cars we promised aren't feasible, but we do hope you'll enjoy the spying vacuums.
It's difficult to comprehend how insane some people can be. Especially when you're insane.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going. The smart left a long time ago.
If you think it's lonely at the top, just wait 'til you try the bottom.
Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad.
If you find yourself struggling with motivation here, try to picture yourself suddenly unemployed. Because you might be.
When we told you to follow your instincts, we didn't know yours were to create obstacles all the time.
Play by the rules, get beat by those who don't.
The experience we're giving you is invaluable. That's why we're not paying you anything.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. But you'd be a fool to withhold that from your superiors.
No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood.
We'll get to the carrion part in a minute.
I believe that children are our future. And that terrifies me.
Success is a journey, not a destination, so stop running.
Leaders are like eagles. We don't have either of them here.
Our burden is to take bold, dramatic actions. Should those fail, your burden is to suffer bold, dramatic consequences.
A little knowledge goes a long way. then you’re society’s problem.
It took millions of years to create something this extraordinary. You have about seventy-four.
It takes courage to let go of the things you can't change. Consider that a warning.
The price of freedom keeps going up, but the quality keeps deteriorating.
Because a Frozen, Lifeless Hellscape Bathing in Radiation is Looking Pretty Good to Me Right Now.
Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.
If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.
The most effective tool in keeping me healthy has been my overwhelming distrust of doctors.
If at first you don't succeed, losing may be your style.
Failure is the greatest teacher, and we're learning so much just by watching you.
Money can't buy you love. But it can buy exotic cars and luxury yachts. Once you've got those covered, you'll be fighting love off with a stick.
Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?"
Because making it look good now is more important than providing adequate support later.
If you're tired of others looking down on you, grow the hell up.
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies right to our faces.
It takes a lot less time and most people won't notice the difference until it's too late.
Just because we accept you as you are doesn't mean we've abandoned hope you'll improve.
None of us is as dumb as all of us.
Teach every child you meet the importance of forgiveness. It's our only hope of surviving their wrath once they realize just how badly we've screwed things up for them.
A job worth doing is worth doing right over your shoulder by your boss.
While good fortune often eludes you, this kind never misses.
It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.
The art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could.
The greatest self-esteem problem of our time is that too many have too much of it.
What optimists call objectivity when they don't like the message.
We promote family values here- almost as often as we promote family members.