It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.
Born too late to explore the world, born too early to explore the stars, born right on time to explore unemployment thanks to A.I.
Some are destined to soar on the wings of eagles while being torn apart by beaks and talons.
You are the wind beneath my wings, otherwise known as turbulence.
Because there's nothing standing between you and your goal but a total lack of talent and complete failure of will.
A company that will go to the ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.
When it costs too much to keep you gruntled.
My life is complicated enough already without trying to introduce organization into it.
Looking sharp is easy when you haven't done any work.
A man never stands so tall as when he stoops to tell a child, "There's no way you can do that - no freaking way."
Because we're all in this together but there's always room for one less.
It's your only hope for success, really.
Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.
The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Government is how we implement those ideas at scale.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions, and now they’re bringing it right to my driveway and taxing me for it.
Because a Friend in Need is a Friend I Don't Need.
The science of explaining tomorrow why the predictions you made yesterday didn't come true today.
You can't put a price on a good education, but you can spend a small fortune to acquire skills that might help you earn a fraction of it back before technology obsolesces your knowledge set.
Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never fail.
It's lonely at the top, but it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.
Failure is just the opportunity to begin again more intelligently, and if you're surrounded by screwups, you'll become an expert in it.
It's not just the ability to put a plan into action, it's our solution for those who lack that ability.
Refuse to accept anything but the very best and you are never going to last around here.
We’ve got a talent for explaining tomorrow why the predictions we made yesterday didn’t come true today.
It's Your Destiny.
By the Time Justice is Done, Injustice Has Usually Gotten Away with Everything it Wanted to.
Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those busy proving them right.
Inside every snowflake is a perfectly unique meltdown just waiting to happen.
A friend is just a stranger you haven't alienated yet.
When all else fails, look to the healing power of brute force.
Choose a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life. We're sending those jobs elsewhere.
You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams.
At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.
Your absence would make my heart grow fonder.
If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions.
Don’t blame us for cutting you down, thank us for giving you new chances for growth.
Thanks for all your well-intended criticism. If I’m not perfect by now, it’s definitely not your fault.
May not be warranted at this point.
The power to get you excited about that which you know isn't real.
Because what might be right for you should not be right for some.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
He who chases rainbows may eventually catch tornadoes.
My reality isn't getting any better, but my fantasies are improving all the time.
The problem isn't that we look down on you, the problem is that you need to grow up.
If things don't improve soon, we may have to ask you to stop helping us.
When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.
In light of the total absence of leadership, I've decided to follow myself.