builder

You can fool all of the people all of the time if your effects budget is large enough.

A word leaders start to use right before the scapegoating begins.

You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.

Acquisition

The discovery that you're no longer a big fish in a small pond, or even a small fish in a big pond, but a small fish in a big fish.

Adaptation

The bad news is robots can do your job now. The good news is we're now hiring robot repair technicians. The worse news is we're working on robot-fixing robots- and we do not anticipate any further good news.

Adventure

Keep living life like there's no tomorrow and you'll be right sooner than you think.

Adversity

That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.

Affirmation

Instilling the self-confidence kids will need to carry them through all the failure they'll experience because they weren't taught competence instead.

Ambition

The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

Apathy

If we don't take care of the customer, maybe they'll stop bugging us.

Arrogance

The best leaders inspire by example. When that's not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well, too.

Aspiration

I hear the call to do nothing and am doing my best to answer it.

Attitude

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you deserve to know it’s also my best.

Be the Bridge

That way we can walk all over you on our way to better places.

Believe

Don’t let anyone tell you that dreams can’t come true; my life’s turned into a long, waking nightmare.

Believe in Yourself

Because the rest of us think you're an idiot.

Blame

The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.

Break the Rules

On your own time. Here, you get paid to conform.

Burnout

Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you.

Caution-Iceberg

Disaster awaits those who ignore hidden threats. We trust you'll find this sufficiently motivating.

Challenges

I expected times like this - but never thought they'd be so bad, so long, and so frequent.

Change

Politicians are like diapers. They need to be changed often and for the same reason.

Change-History

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change history, usually by rewriting it.

Cluelessness

There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.

Collaborate

So the best of us have to carry the rest of us.

Collaboration-Hands

It's not much use pooling your resources if your chief resource is stupidity.

Commitment

You don't have to be crazy to work here, but if you are, you'll be taken care of.

Committees

Just like teamwork. Only without the work.

Competence

If You Can't Learn to Do it Well, At Least Learn to Enjoy Doing it Badly.

Complacency

Because certain things are worth fighting for, in a certain way, up to a certain point.

Compromise

Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be.

Compromise-Meet

Meet me halfway. You need the exercise.

Confidence

If you believe in yourself firmly enough, you can attempt not just the difficult, but even the truly ridiculous.

Consensus

Kept the authorities from admitting that the earth revolves around the sun for over 300 years.

Consequence

Only After the Struggle Is Over Will We Know Just How Many of our Sacrifices were Completely Unnecessary.

Consequences

A ship is safe in harbor but you just had to be a risk taker, didn't you?

Consistency

It's only a virtue if you're not a screwup.

Conspiracy

Never attribute to stupidity that which can be adequately explained by a pathological bloodlust for control.

Consulting

If you're not a part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.

Cooperation

The bigger the team, the lazier the effort.

Corruption-Hand

I Either Want Less Corruption or More Opportunity to Participate in It.

Creativity

Helps artists die young, miserable, and penniless- so their art can have meaning to the old, satisfied, and obscenely rich.

Cutbacks

Those who demand we all do more with less somehow always end up on the more side of the ledger.

Dare to Be Different

Because there's always room for another annoying non-conformist like you in the unemployment line.

Dare to Soar

With enough hot air, even losers like you can fly.

Dedication

When the time comes for us to burn the candle at both ends, we’re grateful you’re here, being our candle.

Demotivation

Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.

Denial

I refuse to contort my reality to accommodate your total lack thereof.

1 2 3 … 5 Next »

Shop

Join the Wailing List

Sign up for Despair's consistently disappointing newsletter for a chance to get the inside scoop on upcoming sales, new releases and exclusive subscriber discounts!

builder

Menu

Shop

Join the Wailing List