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Indifference

It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Individuality

Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.

Indoctrination

There is no idea so ridiculous that you can't find a professor teaching future generations to believe it.

Innovation-Vacuum

We regret to inform you that the flying cars we promised aren't feasible, but we do hope you'll enjoy the spying vacuums.

Insanity

It's difficult to comprehend how insane some people can be. Especially when you're insane.

Insignificance

If you think it's lonely at the top, just wait 'til you try the bottom.

Inspiration

Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad.

Inspiration-Struggle

If you find yourself struggling with motivation here, try to picture yourself suddenly unemployed. Because you might be.

Instinct

When we told you to follow your instincts, we didn't know yours were to create obstacles all the time.

Integrity

Play by the rules, get beat by those who don't.

Interns

The experience we're giving you is invaluable. That's why we're not paying you anything.

Intimidation

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. But you'd be a fool to withhold that from your superiors.

Irresponsibility

No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood.

Keep Calm

We'll get to the carrion part in a minute.

Knowledge

I believe that children are our future. And that terrifies me.

Leaders-Burden

Our burden is to take bold, dramatic actions. Should those fail, your burden is to suffer bold, dramatic consequences.

Learning

A little knowledge goes a long way. then you’re society’s problem.

Legacy

It took millions of years to create something this extraordinary. You have about seventy-four.

Letting Go

It takes courage to let go of the things you can't change. Consider that a warning.

Life Goals

Because a Frozen, Lifeless Hellscape Bathing in Radiation is Looking Pretty Good to Me Right Now.

Limitations

Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk.

Loneliness

If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.

Longevity

The most effective tool in keeping me healthy has been my overwhelming distrust of doctors.

Losing-Track

Failure is the greatest teacher, and we're learning so much just by watching you.

Love

Money can't buy you love. But it can buy exotic cars and luxury yachts. Once you've got those covered, you'll be fighting love off with a stick.

Madness

Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?"

Marketing

Because making it look good now is more important than providing adequate support later.

Media

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies right to our faces.

Mediocrity

It takes a lot less time and most people won't notice the difference until it's too late.

Mediocrity-Penguins

Just because we accept you as you are doesn't mean we've abandoned hope you'll improve.

Meetings

None of us is as dumb as all of us.

Mercy

Teach every child you meet the importance of forgiveness. It's our only hope of surviving their wrath once they realize just how badly we've screwed things up for them.

Micromanagement

A job worth doing is worth doing right over your shoulder by your boss.

Mistakes

It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.

Motivation

If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.

Multitasking

The art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could.

Narcissism

The greatest self-esteem problem of our time is that too many have too much of it.

Negativity

What optimists call objectivity when they don't like the message.

Never Give Up

Never stop trying to exceed your limits. We need the entertainment.

Nostalgia

If things were truly getting better all the time, it wouldn't hurt so much to remember how they used to be.

Obstacles

Some things can not be overcome with determination and a positive attitude.

Opinions

Not Welcome Here.

Opportunity-Cat

It only looks like a tragedy from where you’re sitting.

Outrage

I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to be punished for saying it.

Overconfidence

Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you.

Pain

Pain is just weakness leaving the body. Sometimes your spirit tags along with it.

Pass the Buck

Confession may be good for the soul, but blameshifting will keep you employed longer.

Peer Review

A rigorous process through which often dubious ideas gain broad scientific consensus before becoming unquestionable dogma.

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