View all customers as beautiful buds that must be cultivated, watered, and periodically buried under manure.
Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. Of course, then your eyeballs will boil and your lungs explode from decompression. But that's what you get for being a damn showoff.
If the unexamined life is not worth living, it's certainly not worth broadcasting online 24 hours a day.
Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots.
It's difficult to comprehend how idiotic other can be. Especially when you're an idiot.
You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you can get what you need taken from you by the government.
Sometimes, the most important lesson you can learn is that you're not a very good team.
The world isn't just split into gleeful idiots who see the glass as half-full and smart folks who know better. Our lovely 15 oz. Points-Of-View glass celebrates a half-dozen other insights, some of which might even drive you to drink!
(In which case, hey, here's a glass.)$ 12.00
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood. And Robert Frost took the one less traveled. Of course, he also heckled his rivals and started fires to disrupt their poetry readings. But that makes for a terrible motivational poster. Unless you're a petty pyromaniac. In which case, here you go.
What is the Secret? Pretend you've already achieved it. Then offer to sell the secret to others.
Failure is simply an opportunity to begin again, next time some place else, where they like to hire losers.
Winners never fly higher than when they're bouncing up and down on the egos of those they've defeated.
You must tweet the change you want to see in the world. It won't affect anything, but at least people will know exactly where you stood during the fight. Doing nothing. Like the poser you are.
Because nothing says "you're a loser" more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.
Sometimes the only difference between a budding genius and a blooming idiot is where they choose to take a stand.
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
If wishes were horses then dreamers would ride. But they're much more like cattle, so best grab a shovel.
When I was told I had to pull my weight around here, I didn't realize that included everyone else's.
If you require additional affirmation, get a puppy. The rest of us are trying to work.